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Head of the Neighborhood/Script
(The Fultons are eating breakfast)Jim: '''Ah there's nothing I love better than not working and sipping straight black coffee in the morning. '''Melva: '''Ah Jim we'll glad you got to spend today with us too. '''Jim: '''This..this had nothing to do with you'll. '''Finch: '''Hey dad do you think we can all go ride i'll bikes to the park? '''Jim: '''Who am I Lance Armstrong? I'd rather lick a lobster's butt. '''Oriole: '''Mom, this is what i'm talking about dad is never willing to do anything with us. '''Jim: '''I put a roof over your house and I feed you and then I kick you out when I realize your a lesbian. That's all i'm required to do. '''Melva: '''Well, honey she does have a point they could die one day and you would've wished you would have spent time with them. '''Jim: '''Melva, do you know how rare that would be? Head on collision of two massive galaxies is rarer than those kids dying. '''Oriole: '''Dad, what the hell is wrong with you? '''Jim: '''You watch your damn mouth young lady! '''Lynch: '''Dad can you take my fishing at the peer? I heard Spanish Mackerels are beginning to bite. '''Jim: '''Finch can I speak to you in private? '''Jim: '''Lynch I don't think we should go I already had plans with Finch. '''Lynch: '''Ah come on dad your always....... '''Jim: '''and i'm spent. ''(At Bersabee's)'' '''Jim: '''Guys you have to listen to this. '''Hyper, Fhil, and Rumund: '''What? '''Jim: '''My family wanted me to spend time with them on my day off i mean seriously i've been working my butt off. '''Fhil: '''I'll tell you exactly what to do. '''Rumund: '''You beat her. ''(They all look at Rumund like he's crazy)'' '''Hyper: '''I'll tell you what to do you kick your kids ass that will get them to leave you alone. '''Jim: '''What about Melva? ''(Rumund slowly raises his hand oddly as the men shake their hand no, then Rumund shows a sad look)'' '''Hyper: '''Just buy her some roses, she'll obviously die over it and boy will she adore you. '''Fhil: '''There's only one way you can get away from spending time with your family on your day off and that's working. '''Jim: '''I can't go to work, they've been working my ass off. ''(Jim is seen trying to occupy Mr. Appleseed's son.)'' '''Hyper: '''Screw Appleseed we all should just get new jobs. '''Rumund: '''Or we could beat him. ''(Finch and Lynch are at the park)'' '''Lynch: '''Hey! check it out they are selling bikes. '''Finch: '''Oh how I would love to have a bike. '''Lynch: '''Oh how I would love to have a loving father. '''Finch: '''You know he hates you right? '''Lynch: '''I sadly do. '''Finch: '''I actually want a bike. '''Salesman: '''How can I help you fine young men? '''Lynch: '''Finch i'm scared. '''Finch: '''Yes, I would like that bike. '''Salesman: ''(Angry) ''Wanting and getting are two different things. Finch: '''Sorry i'll met buy that bike. '''Lynch: '''Finch i'm scared. '''Salesman: '''Certainly that will cost $50. '''Finch: '''Damn and I was gonna use this $50 to replace our old pots and pans. '''Lynch: '''Screw that oh and yeah now i'm terrified. ''(Back at home Keech is watching TV)'' '''TV: '''We now return to Nine Lives. '''Keech: ***** '''that. '''Melva: '''Keech what the hell are you in here doing you sound like Finch trying to pee. ''(Finch screams while in bathroom)' '''Keech: '''I wasn't even doing anything M-e-l-v-a '''Melva: '''Oh right I forgot you are a male. '''Keech: '''And I forgot females take everything harder than it needs to be. '''Melva: '''Now wait just a ******* minute. '''Keech: '''Whatcha gonna do bitch? '''Melva: '''Im fixin' to kick your ass that's for damn sure.